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 Hypah's Retro Game Corner: Duke Nukem 3D (Sega Genesis)

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Posts : 212
Age : 23
Location : In a mansion full of games, pizza and diet coke

PostSubject: Hypah's Retro Game Corner: Duke Nukem 3D (Sega Genesis)   Sun Oct 02, 2011 8:20 pm

“Good lord, these games are terrible, I wonder how Misfit and Bot are doing” Hypah says.
Meanwhile, at Misfit’s house…
He and Bot are having a great time with hot women, large amounts of soda, a large pool and good games.
“Assholes” Hypah says.
Now to the actual review…
As I explained earlier Tectoy was the first to popularize games in Brazil, when it’s marketing was focused on toys, the games were so popular that in fact, many Brazilians had a mega drive or master system when they were kids.
But Tectoy was monopolizing the gaming industry in Brazil, so Gradiente tried to stop it and released the Phantom system, which was a NES Clone with a design of a USA Megadrive and a library of Atari 2600 games, however, it didn’t manage to succeed, Nintendo became interested and allowed Gradiente to release their systems to Brazil, but it was very late to release a NES here, it was only released in 1993, 1 year after the SNES release, which makes a complete mind f***.
So the battle was on as the SNES had a intense rivalry with the Genesis, and pretty much every people on brazil owned both and the rivalry wasn’t as intense as the one from the US, it was more calm, but it was strong
Today’s review:

Duke Nukem 3D
This game is the worst thing I’ve ever played since Woody Woodpecker, yes people, this is worse than Duke Nukem Forever, There was a time where Tectoy had permission by 3D Realms to use one of their franchises, and to compete with the Nintendo 64 version, they decided to release their own port for the Mega Drive…Which is stupid as they could have used this to make a game for the Saturn such as a new Wolfenstein or something, but no you had to choose the 2D console that can’t help in anything.
Now you noticed that after going to start your game, you notice you aren’t playing Duke Nukem, you’re playing Wolfenstein, no I’m not kidding, it’s literatlly Wolfenstein copied and paste, only with Monsters sprites from Quake II.

Well, let’s talk about the graphics…Man, it makes the woody woodpecker game’s design looks like something that Leonardo da Vinci made, because, compared to Duke Nukem, he is lucky, you can see problems such as red and blue outlines in the monsters, the Guns looks weird, Duke looks hand drawn when you do a melee attack, but the worst part about it, it’s the background, the graphics looks very unpolished and not to mention, it makes you wanna puke, as it becomes hard to see and it can make you sick with the walls appearing and disappearing, so I do not suggest this game for people who was labyrinthitis, you have been warned.

It is also hard to shoot sometimes, not to mention, you always get stuck in this game, you don’t know what to do unless you see a playthrough or if you explore the level more, which will probably cause eye damage because of the bad art, horrendous graphics and level designs that make you sick, the levels in Duke Nukem forever are way better then the ones in this game, if Duke Nukem Forever and Duke Nukem 3D for the genesis were famous artists, Forever would have been the Jonas Brothers and 3D would have been Justin Bieber.

Overall, game is terrible, there are no pros in this game, there are just cons, If you want a good tectoy game, go buy Street Fighter II for the Master System, it’s enjoyable, but I will have to admit a thing, it is litteratly empty, it’s just bootleg Street Fighter.
I am Disappoint.
Well, that’s it for today, next day will be my first and only review of a console…*gulps*…The Zeebo
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